For The Nerves

First of all, let me say some things in general. I'm in recovery. Through the past few months (hmm, they weren't that few, actually) I was in a deep dark hole, I totally rearranged my concepts of pain and insanity, and I must say I honestly didn't think I could. But obviously, there were things a lot worse that could happen to the mind than what I had known up to now. The first thing that inspired this painting was that I was in a state so bad that I obviously needed serious treatment that involved hard medication. However, I am an enemy of drugs, especially those for the mind, so I refused to visit a psychiatrist that would fill me with tons of dumbing down chemistry. I even refused to let my friends give the a light calming down herb syrup they used, as they said, for the nerves.

If there is anything I would ever use for the nerves, it's the pill on the picture. It works a hundred damn per cent every time, it is never insufficient for your mind, and it never expires. It can be found in music stores rather than drugstores, though. But don't go looking for it, if you aren't already on it, and if you are, in nine out of ten cases you'll have to give it up unless you want it to destroy you.

The sign below I read on the leaflet to a contraceptive pill, which I found funny and morbid at first, but later on I realized how much it applied for my own personal mind-drug. This thing is highly addictive. It fills your head with images of knives, blood, guns, big rebellious combat boots, it shows you how to fight, gives you wings and teeth and claws and could save your life, but could also destroy you if you let its hate take over you. And it has destroyed many good hearts. And even though it's never been harmful to me, it may be highly harmful to others. Again, I don't think of myself as a junkie. I don't do drugs, I rarely take pills and have never used anything to calm down the mind. I never even try those herb syrups. Music is the only thing I take for the nerves.